One of the women interviewed in this fascinating video says “there are two ways to handle fear. One is to “f” everything and run, and the other is to face everything and recover”. Empowering. But it’s so easy to take the first path – probably because our fears seem so real and so big.
When our fears include biggies like rejection, embarrassment, not being worthy, or looking stupid, facing them feels almost impossible. Especially when we’ve spent a good part of our lives working around them. We tend to get good at not doing anything that will place us at risk of exposure – hiding out, not speaking up, or playing small. And, though it might feel inauthentic, it doesn’t feel silly, it feels smart and self-protective. But as the woman in the video says, facing our fears means recovering.
It means not having to wonder what you’d do if you weren’t afraid, but doing it instead, trusting that the outcome, no matter what it is, will be worth the risk.
In Hand Analysis, every part of the Analysis has a master and a student path. A big part of moving from the student path to the master path requires addressing the fear. So, for instance, every School has a fear associated with it. Service – fear of disconnection from spirit. Love – fear of rejection. Wisdom – fear of looking stupid. And Peace – fear of chaos. Outside the school, the fears don’t seem so overwhelming. Inside, lookout! Fear of rejection keeps School of Love folks from being truly authentic with their emotion. School of Wisdom people need to know everything before they’ll act, if they ever do, for fear of looking stupid. School of Service people manage their fear by sacrificing constantly, and School of Peace people address their fear of chaos either by juggling endless emergencies or totally checking out.
The key is leaning in and facing it. Our fulfilling our Purposes depends on it. We’ve got to be on the Master paths to truly live the lives we are meant to have. And, I don’t know about you, but I can feel that. Whenever fear keeps me from doing or being what I want, a little part of me says “seriously?, when are you going to step up?” I don’t feel better or safer, I just feel disappointed.
I like the concept of asking the question “what would you do if you weren’t afraid?” because it shines a light on what we really want. And knowing that, and trusting that we are worthy and deserving of it, may just be enough to face our fears and recover.